Remember the first time you held your child in your arms? Remember all those hopes, dreams, and promises.
When our children first arrive to us whether it is through birth, adoption, or other life circumstances, we promise to do our best. We picture a future full of joy and potential without obstacles.
Of course, we know life has its daily challenges but dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD, and whatever else it is your child struggles with…those were not part of the dream.
I have had a few lessons in life on grief and one thing I have learned is that we have to grieve all sorts of losses beyond just death including broken dreams.
In 2017 my 4th child was stillborn. There are no words for the depths of grief that I went through when I lost my daughter. It consumed me for nearly 4 months. While those months were the hardest of my life, they were well spent. It was in the process of grieving, that I found the purpose I needed to go on.
We can only move on with the peace and strength life requires when we take the time we need to grieve.
I am not, by any means, a mental health expert but I do know from my own experience that we can best tackle our challenges AFTER we have grieved them and so today I want to offer you permission to be sad and to grieve….journal, go to counseling, paint, write a poem, join a group, find others in your shoes to speak to, rest, exercise, spend time in nature, create a peaceful space, buy a memento, light a candle…do the things that will help you feel all the feelings that you would rather not feel.
Moreover, keep in mind that as your students age, and reach new phases of reality, they also may need to be given the space and resources to grieve their disabilities.
Those questions about how to fix this, change this, or solve this can wait. Taking a few weeks or months to process your feelings will be a gift that you give yourself and your student.